Finding Happiness in Solitude
Happy Thursday everyone! One skill I’ve been working on the last couple of weeks is the skill of forgiving myself. Creating NFT God and 1% Better over the past year has required a tremendous amount of work with my Web 2 job. I got so used to the routine of waking up, working my web 2 job, then building 1% Better until I fall asleep that I started feeling guilty when I wasn’t productive.
Downtime started feeling like wasted time. Over the last few weeks downtime has become critical. Out of a need for more balance, I’ve forced myself to take some downtime. What I didn’t expect was the amount of guilt I’d feel for doing nothing. I felt like I wasn’t getting enough done. I was used to being in work mode 24/7. This guilt led to more stress which led to me needing downtime even more. A nasty cycle.
Moral of the story, I’ve had to teach myself it’s alright not to be productive. It’s something I’m still working on. I imagine if you’re a solopreneur or someone like me who’s building a side hustle on top of your normal job you’ve ran into this challenge.
Balance is so important, and it’s something my subconscious wasn’t letting me have lately.
Learn to forgive yourself for not being on your A-game all the time. It’s tough, but without balance, everything you’re building falls apart.
Anyway, let’s get into it…
Contents:
1️⃣ Latest Twitter Thread
2️⃣ Sponsored: Buddy Bucks
3️⃣ Finding Happiness in Solitude
4️⃣ 1% Club Highlights of the Week
5️⃣ Replies of the Week
Interested in sponsoring a newsletter and getting your project in front of 19,000+ self-improvement, technology, finance, and Web 3 enthusiasts? Reach out to nftgod@nftgod.gives.
Latest Twitter Thread:
SPONSORED: BUDDY BUCKS!
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Finding Happiness in Solitude
There's a lot of pressure always to be GOING. The culture tells us we must go out on Friday nights, party on the weekends, play video games with friends, enjoy after-work drinks with coworkers, and eat posh brunches in West Village on Sundays.
Social media throws FOMO in our faces 24/7. Every story, reel, and post is a best-of from someone's life.
It's enough to make you feel...lonely.
I fell for this trap. I fell for it for a while. In my early 20s (I’m 32 now), I constantly had FOMO. I felt like a loser if I wasn't going out on a Friday night. I judged myself so harshly for being alone. It was a miserable way to live.
Solitude was my enemy. It zapped my happiness. I needed to meet the societal expectations set for me, or I wasn't satisfied. I didn't even like bars or drinking! I did it because I felt like that's what I was supposed to do.
My perspective on solitude was corrupted by society.
At 27, I made a major life change. I moved from Boston to New York City, where I only knew a few people. I found myself alone much more often. Out of a need for mental sanity, I forced myself to find activities I could do by myself.
I wrote blogs, took online courses, and started improving myself. A change began taking place in me. When I'd get home from work on Friday nights, I was PUMPED when I had no plans. The more I learned, the more I started preferring solitude way more than the nonstop consumerism and social lives that are expected of us.
Solitude wasn't lonely anymore. It was a time where I became a better person.
Instead of being an energy drain on me, solitude became where I gained my energy.
I was chasing a social life people expected of me, and it led to me living a life that wasn't authentic to myself. It was a life of chasing. Here's the thing about chasing: the more you chase, the further away your goals get.
I was chasing a social life, a relationship, and success, and all three were getting further and further away.
When I hit 27 and changed my location, my whole perspective changed.
Solitude shouldn't be something you're afraid of. Solitude is your best chance to better yourself. To build your skills, strengthen your body, or rest your mind.
It’s funny how my entire life transformed when I embraced solitude. When I started focusing more on myself, rather than the goals I was chasing, it seemed the goals started chasing me. I hit career goals and found an incredible relationship.
When you change your perspective on solitude, that's when your entire life changes.
Find yourself alone on a Friday night? Here are some resources I’ve used on my growth journey to find joy in solitude:
Online courses: Udemy (udemy.com)
Coding: Code Academy (codeacademy.com)
Favorite books: Atomic Habits by James Clear. Richer, Wiser, Happier by William Greene. The Almanack of Naval Ravikant by Eric Jorgenson
I also picked up painting along the way. Highly therapeutic!
Any recommendations you have for getting the most out of your solitude? Let me know in the comment section below.
1% Club Highlights of the Week:
The 1% Club is turning into one of the biggest incubators for builders/creators/artists/entrepreneurs on the internet. The Discord is the homebase for some of the smarted minds in the entire industry.
This week the Club had several awesome Club Calls including:
Daily Pomodoro with Alexander (@AlexanderTC_) and Myself: Join myself and Alexander in the voice chat every single day as we run a Pomodoro session. We are in the VC all day working and chatting with Club members. An awesome way to stay motivated!
Notion Masterclass with Hutchi (@alex_hutchi): Walkthrough of how to use Notion to dramatically improve your workflow
Behind the Scenes of a Hedge Fund Manager with Asuna (@FlannelDipole): Asuna walks through his life as a hedge fund manager and his investment process.
Mediation with Lonewolf (@wolfmeditate): Lonewolf led his weekly group meditation
Accountability Session with J0nga (@TravelMonsta): J0nga led a group session where we went over this week’s goals as well as held eachother accountable for last weeks goals.
All are available on demand when you join the group as well as instant access to:
How to Get Way More Out of Reading
How to Build POWERFUL Content Around Your Brand
Write Tweets That Attract Big Attention
On a journey to build something special? Learn new skills? Become an entrepreneur? Join over 650 others in the 1% Club below:
Replies of the Week
I had a similar struggle in my early 20’s and it became harder when I had kids, the fomo became harder to ignore. It felt like I was always missing out on something. Now I realize that the time with family and the time in solitude are the most precious moments.
Yes, the balancing act of living up to the entrepreneur axiom of hustling and spending time with people you love most.
If we are hustling for them, then when is the point where your hustling is enough to be with them?
Is sacrificing 365 a year hustling, not having time with them, not being present with them so you can give them a luxury life or a huge monetary legacy mean that you love them?
(Maybe hustling 365 when you’re not married and in your early 20s to 30s make better sense)
Is that your own definition of loving them or is that what they want to feel loved by you?
These are questions I often ask myself in times of solitude.