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The Number 1 Rule in Life
This will make your life so much easier
read time 3 minutes
Welcome to 1% Better. A weekly newsletter where I provide simple playbooks to grow your following, earn more revenue, and live a more fulfilling life.
Today at a Glance:
How to handle criticism
Remember this, and your life gets so much easier
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The Number 1 Rule in Life
I have a confession: for a large part of my life I was wildly insecure. I could not take criticism. I could not take people disagreeing with me. I could not take any form of negativity.
It would crush my ego. Any form of criticism felt like an attack. Even if someone was truly trying to help me, my heart rate and blood pressure would instantly spike.
Everything was a personal attack. And it only got worse as my platform grew. Once my X account got past 10,000 followers, I realized almost every post I made came with a reply that attacked me.
People would send me clips of others talking shit in Spaces. They'd send me screenshots of negative DMs.
Every time I'd read these messages I felt like I was getting punched in the gut. I took everything people said about me personally. My ego just couldn't handle it.
If you're growing on social media, working your way up the corporate ladder, or just involved socially in a lot of activities, you probably have experienced this too.
Then I read something that changed my life. Inspired by my personal hero Tom Brady (go Pats) I read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
An incredible book if you haven't read it yet. One of the 'Agreements' the book talks about is how you should NEVER take anything personally. Never.
The book talks about how if people are criticizing you or attacking you, they are simple projecting. It is a reflection of themselves onto you.
It is a reflection of their anger, their insecurities, and their own self doubt. People who are truly secure with themselves don't feel the need to attack others.
Their attacks have quite literally nothing to do with you and everything to do with themselves.
This one rule honestly changed my life forever. It totally changed the lens for which I see other people.
My ego used to get SO bruised when someone was critical of me. When they said my content sucked or they called me a bad programmer, or dumb, or whatever meaningless attack they had that day.
That shit used to really hurt. But now the moment I hear useless criticism like that I instantly remember it's a reflection of their own insecurities.
It's a reflection on how they feel themselves. No happy person goes out and starts attacking people or giving unsolicited criticism.
Happy people focus on their own happiness.
Now instead of making me feel like shit, it actually makes me laugh. I A) find it funny they'd project so aggressively and B) take it as a sign that I'm doing something right.
Nobody attacks somebody doing worse than them.
Keep this rule in mind. Next time someone criticizes you, instead of reacting with your ego, react with your logic. They're not attacking you because you actually did something wrong. They're attacking you because you brought out an insecurity in them, and now they're feeling defensive.
Take it as a sign you're doing something right, then lean in harder.
Helpful? Here’s some other ways I can help you out:
The single greatest course on X growth ever: The X Growth Master Class
The best community of online creators/builders on the internet (plus weekly calls with me: The 1% Club
60 minute coaching session that will totally change the way you create content: Alex Finn 1 on 1 coaching session
Have a great weekend everyone!
-Alex
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